Look for Them...

This little ice sculpture in a window box on Front Street stopped me in my tracks yesterday afternoon. I was taking a break from working in my studio, feeling traumatized and tired from the night before. I saw the hummingbird first...and took my camera out of my bag and snapped a few pictures. When downloading these images this morning, I saw the centaur...

I thought of last week's Promise...

I thought of the woman who checked us in at the ER Tuesday night...

She was wearing an enamel horse pin, and she told me about her business, Healing Horses, and invited me to bring Lisbeth out for a visit sometime soon. She said, "She doesn't have to get on a horse right away or even at all, if she doesn't want to. She can just enjoy being there with the horses - maybe help to feed and brush them. It does folks good just to be around the horses, out in the fresh air." I asked her if she has an all white horse, thinking that Lisbeth would love to see a horse that matches her kitty, Milkweed. She said, "Yes, in fact we do. He's an old Arabian that we rescued. His name is Trooper," and she gave me her card.

Yesterday morning I told Lisbeth's house manager that I would like to start taking Lisbeth to this horse farm.

Thoughts of guardians and angels...

When I open my eyes, when I pay attention, I see that they are all around me...

Tripping

I've spent the past two days in my studio, pushing and pulling dark and light, and playing with proportions and the placement of images on my triptych. In addition to charcoal, I have started to add some white acrylic - I want my drawings to have the same range of grays and sparkling whites and rich blacks as found in a good old movie.

I stated before that this piece is about the primary three people who raised me - my mother, my father, and my maternal grandmother. These three also happen to be the people closest to me who have died, and while working on the triptych, I have felt their presence quite strongly. At times I find myself weeping, even though I don't feel particularly sad - just overcome with emotion. I've had the sensation that I am loved unconditionally and feel cheered on by all three, as if their spirits have none of the fear or judgement that their human forms may have sometimes harbored about me and my art.

I have been a little concerned that this piece is too personal for anyone else to relate to, then found a great quote this morning:

Women are repeatedly accused of taking things personally. I cannot see any other honest way of taking them. ~ Marya Mannes, American writer b. 1904

(I've been listening to Raising Sand quite a bit in my studio, and yesterday saw the humor in how a song may have subconsciuosly affected my placement of certain images...:^)

Projecting

Playing with the idea that we physically hold memories in our body...

A Paned Foursome

I stayed up late last night to submit on-line (at the very last minute - it was due by midnight) my application to the Portland Museum of Art Biennial. This will be the 5th or 6th time that I've applied. I have never gotten in, and honestly thought that I wouldn't bother this time around. A bit of sour grapes, probably. Or, just dreading rejection, again. Then I caved and submitted these four pieces from my ancestor portrait series, Mything Persons. I had to hustle to take these photos and piece them together in photoshop. Just four images are accepted - I wanted to show the drawings unframed, and also behind the windows, and I wanted to submit four portraits. My challenge was how to do this in four images. My sister suggested that I put them side by side in each of the four images - I called the museum and they said that this was OK and not breaking any rules. So here they are. My problem is that I never feel that what I have to offer is of enough significance to warrant being chosen for this *venerated venue.* I think my work is too trivial, not of universal appeal, not conceptual enough, blah blah blah, ad nauseam. I decided to silence that nasty voice and simply submit what is my most recent work. Take it of leave it, I say!! (But I would be thrilled if they take it...) (and I know I'll be sad and disappointed if they don't...) Who am I kidding? This is always an emotional ordeal!!

I dreamt last night that a woman who was in charge of a biennial (it was not the PMA) chose a pale and delicate pencil drawing of mine - a triptych of sorts - to be in the show. She loved it, and I felt so appreciated, understood, and honored. Who is she? Maybe me. Maybe I need to remember that what I think counts!

So here is my artist statement that I banged out at 11:30pm, just under the wire, without looking back. Ah, the rat...(ha ha ha! Freudian typo!!)...I mean, Ah, the ART scene. Wish me luck!!

Mything Persons is a series of portraits taken from a scanned family photo from the late 19th century. Typically I do my portraits from life, but this photo was so compelling, I had to draw these faces that look familiar yet strange. As I stared at the digital image of this old photograph on my computer screen, and zoomed in on each face, I searched the eyes for clues that link them to my life: Were they happy? What did they eat for breakfast that day? Did the women yearn to be more than wives and mothers? Did they enjoy sex? Were the men kind? What dysfunctional behaviors and what loving habits did they pass on to my generation? They look at us through old windows, holding onto their secrets as they merge with our own reflections.

Ghosts at the Clothesline

A photo shoot out under the clothesline this morning, documenting portraits for my upcoming show. I am also getting ready to plant a bed of marigolds from seed, so that they will be at their peak in late October for the exhibit. I will be placing them around the gallery at my niece Michaela's suggestion. Michaela loves Day of the Dead and all its imagery and folklore, and tells me that marigolds bring forth spirits!

MES

Started this portrait on Saturday - this is my father's mother, Mary Elizabeth Simmons. I am Martha Elizabeth, and until I was twenty one, we had the same last name, and the same initials. (What a MES! :^)

She died when I was five years old, so I have just a few memories of this grandmother. My father always said that I resembled her. Yup. The same face shape, the same nose! I have to keep working this - I've made her face too long and I've made her look more severe than she is - she has a very soft and gentle expression. I will find her as I push that charcoal around!

I want to thank those of you who gave me feedback for my *ghost* project! And I want to share this bit of synchronicity:

Directly after I corresponded with my cousin Jon about our collaboration and about my plan to print my portraits on sheer fabric and make them hang like ghosts, I responded to a friend's inquiry on Facebook about the upcoming Ebune Parade in Portland. She had asked me if I'd ever been in the parade, and I told her yes, that I had participated in 2005, when one of my MECA professors, Alex Kahn, was in charge. I sent her a link to Alex and his partner Sophia Micheles's website, knowing that she would love to see their work. They do pageant puppetry, and my friend does paintings of puppets. While finding that link for her, I happened to notice that Alex and Sophia had a video on Youtube, and curious, I clicked to view...

Ghosts with portrait faces!!!
Wow, I just love the floating chairs, tea cups, silverware, etc!
Pure Magic.

Alex and Sophia now travel the globe working with communities to create wondrous puppets and pageants!